Dear Bloggers,
The Holidays are a time for family and friends to get together and celebrate in the spirit of giving. It is one of my favourite times of the year, and it is especially exciting this year because I have arrived back to my parent's house for a month after a semester away at university in another province.
We all want to say that the holidays are always joyful and fulfilling, but if we're being honest, the holidays can be filled with stress and disappointment, especially if you've lost a loved one.
My sister and I were always so excited to wake up early and run to the living room to see what Santa brought us each year. We'd get up at 6am (although we'd be lying awake for hours) and jump on our parents. Unfortunately, growing up comes with disappearance of tradition, and now Christmas is more of a forced get together with my parents under the tree, as they watch me open the ridiculously expensive material items. Don't get me wrong, when my Mom asked me for a wish list I had plenty to write, but as each Christmas passes since the day that my sister died, these items become more and more unappealing. Although they are things that I've always wanted, the only true thing that I want for Christmas is for that excitement to come back inside me.
The truth is, I would trade it every Christmas in my life; all the presents, the food, and the songs, just for one more Christmas with my sister and my parents all together, all happy and laughing. It is so sad that we've lost the potential for these moments, but at least the memories are saved in my heart.
Although this is a pretty sad and disappointing post, I am a natural optimist and I do hope that one day I will feel that way again. Maybe it will be whenever I have kids of my own, and I see it in them as they wake each other up and run into wake me.
The moral of this post is that nothing will ever be the same as it was 5 years ago, 2 months ago, or even one hour ago. As humans we are continually changing and growing, learning things based on what we decide to do. Our lives are all up to what we decide to do with them, whether it be ignoring opportunities and living in a bubble, or whether it be taking in everything and taking risks. I have decided to try to find a balance in my life, sticking to my morals but making sure that I don't just sit and watch my life fly by. I hope that you will all do the same.
To all of you twinless twins out there, I hope that you can find peace this holiday season with your friends and family. No matter what happens, I am an advocate of the fact that our twins are in fact still with us everyday, even if they are not physically beside us. Trust in that.
To everyone else out there, the losses that you have experienced are similar to our's, and I hope that you can as well find peace throughout the holidays. Give back, and you will receive in return.
Merry Christmas to you all, may your holidays be filled with joy, meaning, and of course, love <3
Alicia
Thursday 13 December 2012
Saturday 9 June 2012
Behind the Blog: Why this all began
Hey there!
My name is Alicia, and I am currently 18 years old. I am your average university student here in Canada, but I have had certain events in my life shape the way that I am today.
Like many other people on this Earth, I have been shown how truly valuable our time here is and because of that, I have decided to live my life a certain way.
I know that many people are scared of the future, scared of their present life, or even scared of their past. But I believe that everything happens for a reason and that even if you may do something that you regret, it is never a mistake if it has gotten you through another day to change what your life becomes.
Now to my specific story.
My identical twin sister Brianna and I were born on January 4th, 1994. Our parents Wade and Krista have always been amazing to us and have supported us in anything that we have wanted to accomplish. Growing up we had lots of friends and participated in anything and everything involving school. Brianna was an accomplished student in Math, Physics, and Chemistry while I found my calling more-so in English, History, and Political Science.
In September of 2010 we began our senior year of high school and were applying to universities.
In October we both got our driver's licenses as well, which is a huge milestone for many teens.
On November 4th, 2010 Brianna and I went to school as usual, had English and a Biology test together that afternoon, but something happened at around 3:35pm that would change my life forever.
At 2:30pm when the final bell rang, Brianna and I went to our lockers (which were right beside each other) and got packed up. I had a hair appointment scheduled for 4pm but I was staying after school for a school band practice (another one of the many activities in which I participated in school) and so Brianna was going to come to the school after my practice and take me to my appointment. We went over this plan and then we said goodbye.
At 3:30pm when my band practice ended, I texted Brianna and asked her to come get me. Her response was "Ok" and so I expected her to be up in 10 minutes max. After 20 minutes went by (it was 3:55pm by now) I saw an ambulance drive by our high school going in the direction of our house. I called Brianna, texted her again, but no answer. At this point I had an unsettled stomach, but I figured that Brianna's phone had died and maybe she was stuck behind some sort of traffic fault.
Since my appointment was at 4pm and Brianna had still not arrived, a friend of mine offered to take me because they were going in that direction anyway.
I got to my appointment, sat in the hairdresser's chair, and she began shampooing it. All of a sudden the hairdresser's phone began ringing, it was for me. I was handed the phone and all I could hear was my Mom saying "Brianna's been in an accident! Just stay at your appointment, and we'll come pick you up".
I agreed and continued with my appointment, assuming that Brianna had just had some minor injuries and that everything was fine.
10 minutes later my parents, looking afraid and exhausted, showed up at the hair salon and said that they needed to talk to me. We went downstairs to a room with a tanning bed, and they sat me down. I don't remember the exact words, but my Mom said something like "Please don't freak out honey, but something has happened to Brianna. She was in a bad car accident, and unfortunately Alicia, she is gone."
Automatically I assumed that it wasn't true, that I had been asleep this whole time and that it was all a dream. My parents held me and we all cried for 5 minutes before deciding that it was time to go home. A local police officer drove the 3 of us back to our house, me still having soaked hair with shampoo still in it, and we drove up to our house to see about 20 cars, 2 ambulances, 3 police cars directing traffic, and many locals wondering what had happened.
I wanted to go see Brianna, but both my parents and the authorities wouldn't let me. I couldn't even see the condition of the car because it was surrounded by trucks and people.
The actual accident happened when Brianna was pulling out of our driveway. She either didn't look both ways, or she did but thought she could make it, but in the end a dump truck collided with her side of the vehicle and she was killed instantly. The police officers ruled out the possibility that she was texting while driving because her cellphone wasn't on her at the time and she was apparently looking up at the truck driver when the accident occurred.
I know that this story isn't exactly a happy one, but it has completely changed my life goals as well as life as we know it.
I'm going to end today's blog post here and let it settle with both you and I. This blog has been created to help other people who have lost someone close to them, specifically someone who has lost their twin sibling.
Thank you for reading, I hope that you will come back for some more light-hearted posts!
My name is Alicia, and I am currently 18 years old. I am your average university student here in Canada, but I have had certain events in my life shape the way that I am today.
Like many other people on this Earth, I have been shown how truly valuable our time here is and because of that, I have decided to live my life a certain way.
I know that many people are scared of the future, scared of their present life, or even scared of their past. But I believe that everything happens for a reason and that even if you may do something that you regret, it is never a mistake if it has gotten you through another day to change what your life becomes.
Now to my specific story.
My identical twin sister Brianna and I were born on January 4th, 1994. Our parents Wade and Krista have always been amazing to us and have supported us in anything that we have wanted to accomplish. Growing up we had lots of friends and participated in anything and everything involving school. Brianna was an accomplished student in Math, Physics, and Chemistry while I found my calling more-so in English, History, and Political Science.
In September of 2010 we began our senior year of high school and were applying to universities.
In October we both got our driver's licenses as well, which is a huge milestone for many teens.
On November 4th, 2010 Brianna and I went to school as usual, had English and a Biology test together that afternoon, but something happened at around 3:35pm that would change my life forever.
At 2:30pm when the final bell rang, Brianna and I went to our lockers (which were right beside each other) and got packed up. I had a hair appointment scheduled for 4pm but I was staying after school for a school band practice (another one of the many activities in which I participated in school) and so Brianna was going to come to the school after my practice and take me to my appointment. We went over this plan and then we said goodbye.
At 3:30pm when my band practice ended, I texted Brianna and asked her to come get me. Her response was "Ok" and so I expected her to be up in 10 minutes max. After 20 minutes went by (it was 3:55pm by now) I saw an ambulance drive by our high school going in the direction of our house. I called Brianna, texted her again, but no answer. At this point I had an unsettled stomach, but I figured that Brianna's phone had died and maybe she was stuck behind some sort of traffic fault.
Since my appointment was at 4pm and Brianna had still not arrived, a friend of mine offered to take me because they were going in that direction anyway.
I got to my appointment, sat in the hairdresser's chair, and she began shampooing it. All of a sudden the hairdresser's phone began ringing, it was for me. I was handed the phone and all I could hear was my Mom saying "Brianna's been in an accident! Just stay at your appointment, and we'll come pick you up".
I agreed and continued with my appointment, assuming that Brianna had just had some minor injuries and that everything was fine.
10 minutes later my parents, looking afraid and exhausted, showed up at the hair salon and said that they needed to talk to me. We went downstairs to a room with a tanning bed, and they sat me down. I don't remember the exact words, but my Mom said something like "Please don't freak out honey, but something has happened to Brianna. She was in a bad car accident, and unfortunately Alicia, she is gone."
Automatically I assumed that it wasn't true, that I had been asleep this whole time and that it was all a dream. My parents held me and we all cried for 5 minutes before deciding that it was time to go home. A local police officer drove the 3 of us back to our house, me still having soaked hair with shampoo still in it, and we drove up to our house to see about 20 cars, 2 ambulances, 3 police cars directing traffic, and many locals wondering what had happened.
I wanted to go see Brianna, but both my parents and the authorities wouldn't let me. I couldn't even see the condition of the car because it was surrounded by trucks and people.
The actual accident happened when Brianna was pulling out of our driveway. She either didn't look both ways, or she did but thought she could make it, but in the end a dump truck collided with her side of the vehicle and she was killed instantly. The police officers ruled out the possibility that she was texting while driving because her cellphone wasn't on her at the time and she was apparently looking up at the truck driver when the accident occurred.
I know that this story isn't exactly a happy one, but it has completely changed my life goals as well as life as we know it.
I'm going to end today's blog post here and let it settle with both you and I. This blog has been created to help other people who have lost someone close to them, specifically someone who has lost their twin sibling.
Thank you for reading, I hope that you will come back for some more light-hearted posts!
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